I know that psychedelic experiences are ineffable by their very nature, so I won’t mince words: My fourth ayahuasca ceremony was the single-most healing moment of my life... forcing me to confront, the darkest depths of my psyche: the root of my suicidal ideations and depression.

In the following post I will take a look ‘under the hood’ of my own biology, and demonstrate how a complex web of interactions began undermining my mental and physical wellbeing.

The truth is, nothing “died inside of me.” No, on the contrary, something was very, very alive. A thriving colony of dysbiotic bacteria, feasting on and mis-digesting my food intake, themselves belching sulphorous, malodorous gases that caused intense discomfort inside me.

Unresolved trauma runs us, on a subconscious level — like malware running in the background of our central processing unit — subtly (or not so subtly) influencing every decision we make, every reaction to stimuli, and yes, even our thoughts, beliefs, and actions.