In my efforts to heal from depression, suicidal ideations, and IBS, I no longer feel I am in a battle against these afflictions, but rather on a path away from them, and toward something else entirely: wholeness... My inward journey, and specifically the experience of ego dissolution, completely changed my relationship to the world...

In this moment, fully immersed in its presence, I wanted nothing. For the first time in my life, I felt completely accepted for who I was… All of my worries, anxieties, ambitions, needs simply melted away, and I became one with the light.

As I later learned, I was sacrificing my authentic self in order to receive love from my caretakers, and acceptance from my community — a damaging form of emotional repression and trauma.

Unresolved trauma runs us, on a subconscious level — like malware running in the background of our central processing unit — subtly (or not so subtly) influencing every decision we make, every reaction to stimuli, and yes, even our thoughts, beliefs, and actions.