I stare down into the dark brown brew, but see no reflection in the glinting sludge. I grasp it with both hands and hold it next to my heart, silently praying my intention…

Integration is the single-most important—and most frequently bypassed—aspect of psychedelic therapy. It is most often thought of as a period of processing after a psychedelic journey… And it is. But I believe integration begins before the psychedelic experience itself.

In the following post I will take a look ‘under the hood’ of my own biology, and demonstrate how a complex web of interactions began undermining my mental and physical wellbeing.

This is especially important to remember as we step into this moment of global transformation. “Sorry” represents the past, the events that got us here, to a global pandemic, systemic racism, police brutality, oceans full of plastic, the loss of a species every twenty minutes, and utterly ineffectual leadership. Now is not the time for sorry. Now is the time for action and change.

The truth is, nothing “died inside of me.” No, on the contrary, something was very, very alive. A thriving colony of dysbiotic bacteria, feasting on and mis-digesting my food intake, themselves belching sulphorous, malodorous gases that caused intense discomfort inside me.

Unresolved trauma runs us, on a subconscious level — like malware running in the background of our central processing unit — subtly (or not so subtly) influencing every decision we make, every reaction to stimuli, and yes, even our thoughts, beliefs, and actions.